Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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