would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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