the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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