HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I understand Curling. That high.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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