We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
