i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Houston, we have a squirter
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
