I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
