He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
