I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
