i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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