Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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