Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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