is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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