i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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