im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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