So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
