Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
