everyone is single if you try hard enough
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
