why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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