If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The air taste purple.
Randomize
