Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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