I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
