it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize