can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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