You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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