So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
