youre lurking in front of me
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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