I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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