glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
