if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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