I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize