i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
