is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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