What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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