i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
