I just threw up on my dentist
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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