He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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