ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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