I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
