I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
