I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize