i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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