Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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