Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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