I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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