So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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