hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
