I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch