I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?