I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together