how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize