It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
