okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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