doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
