Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we made out on top of his cat.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
