I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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