it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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