do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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