She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
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Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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