Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ladies don't puke and tell
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
