I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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